an excerpt from "The Life and Times of Larry Sparrow"

LarrySparrow: is this the gay domination room?

CmInMyBm: Yes larry

LarrySparrow: ah awesome

CmInMyBm: Dom or domd?

LarrySparrow: I want someone to totally dominate me

LarrySparrow: I mean, someone other than my mother that is

(long pause)

LarrySparrow: did I not say that sexy or something?

vypers: Naw

CmInMyBm: U want to dominate me here?

LarrySparrow: no, dominate me

CmInMyBm: no

LarrySparrow: wtf, can we take numbers or something?

vypers: Lol?

LarrySparrow: ha I just thought of something

LarrySparrow: in a weird way, you refusing to dominate me is a kind of domination

CmInMyBm: Vypers u want me or him?

LarrySparrow: oh, you are good

LarrySparrow: maybe we can just all sort of dominate each other?

firecroch: Who wants to be my master?

LarrySparrow: me

LarrySparrow: I mean wait, well okay, yeah fine, me

firecroch: Wat do u want me to do

LarrySparrow: my taxes, jk

LarrySparrow: a few questions first

LarrySparrow: are you into pain?

(long pause)

LarrySparrow: fire, answer me now, you worm!

LarrySparrow: no one is dominating anyone

LarrySparrow: man this stinks!

CmInMyBm: Larry do u hav a cam?

LarrySparrow: yes

CmInMyBm: It helps if u turn it on

firecroch: Sorry larry what do u want me to do?

LarrySparrow: I know that cuminmybum, but if I turned it on now that would be like I was listening to you and then you would be dominating me and I am trying to get my dom on with firecroch here so all in all, this is pretty distracting

CmInMyBm: So u want to dominate?

LarrySparrow: no! I want you to let me dominate but now the whole idea is just starting to seem silly!

firecroch: I have needles and wax

LarrySparrow: mmmm, that's hot fire, but now my mother is calling me. I'll try to bbl. Peace out, gangstas.

*

Larry Sparrow is a problem. Larry Sparrow is a big fucking problem. He can be found causing all kinds of mayhem and perversion at showforstars.com. He steals ideas, feelings, and human souls right off the Internet and nobody can do anything to stop him. Log on any time and join his mission to change the world from inside a chatroom.

Larry Sparrow is a performance artist living in Alaska (according to his profile). He has no other hobbies and has let his O.C.D. take control over his life like a God. He barely sleeps and nourishes himself solely on cola and tortilla chips. He never gets fucked, he is the thing that fucks.