Knock-em-out-and-Fuck-em Eddie
Knock-em-out-and-Fuck-em Eddie wasn’t an anti-semite. Knock-em-out-and-Fuck-em Eddie didn’t know Jews from juice. It might be suggested, simultaneously, that Eddie added to the stock of available reality more than any poet ever will whilst never questioning the right of a man to turn up at another man’s door to prove (by pointing at the pages of a Bible) that that guy’s home was now this guy’s home because this book he is pointing at says that God made a pact with some donkey-nomad called Avram who had met God on the way down from Ur of the Chaldees.
Eddie couldn’t care less about God. God never hung around the bus station toilets in the tight blue jeans which Eddie liked to see on boys and girls. Eddie would invite nice looking boys and girls of the age of consent back to his house to party. If it just so happened that they didn’t drink he’d knock 'em out and fuck 'em anyway. And Knock-em-out-and-Fuck-em Eddie would get sent down for it and if he was lucky they’d put him in with a nice looking boy and then sometime after the lights went out for the night Knock-em-out-and-Fuck-em Eddie would invade the boy, whatever the UN or the Fourth Geneva Convention said.
He’d get sent to solitary confinement so he couldn’t knock anyone else out and fuck them and then the day would come and Knock-em-out-and-Fuck-em Eddie would have paid his debt to society and he would be out on the street again and inviting nice looking girls and boys back to his place where he had all that was needed for parties. He wouldn’t sit watching the news with them and attempt to show his caring side by saying “those fucking Israelis” or “those fucking Arabs” or “war is bad, it kills babies”. He’d stick a video on instead and drop a triple vodka into the orange juice and he’d turn up the heating and watch them drink down the orange juice and wait and see what he was going to have to do to this one.
Anonymous was discovered at an early age to be keeping matches under (omitted) bed.
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